Not Such A Twilit Night After All!

Bella sat upright, yawning shamelessly as she cleared her vision, throwing her Rapunzel-like flowing hair back, and stretched her arms like an aged gymnast. She put on her baby pink satin robe and called out to a thin lanky man whose face looked like a foot. That was just Edward; her semi-human, semi-creature husband.
“Edward!!” she bellowed. That was Edward’s signal to go bring the bread and milk for this satin robed, demi-god beauty of his.
Bella finally got off her creeper infested, four poster bed and greeted the 11am sun with another uncovered yawn. Twenty lazy minutes passed and she began to wonder what’s taking Edward this long. He’s usually back by her third morning yawn, or even before on days the farm obituary in the newspaper has taken the dog show’s (entertainment section’s) page space. Edward walked in ten minutes later, with his head looking at the floor, almost as if crestfallen. Bella looked at him, smirked and said, “I was wondering what took you so long; till I remembered the event that took place last night”. Bella laughed sadistically, like an eight year old cookie thief. “Last night” said Bella and sighed happily. Edward scorned as Bella recounted what happened before her satin robe was on last night.
The lights were dim, candles lit and the moon was a mere crescent. Bella was in a playful mood while Edward’s blue gaze was fixed at Bella large brown eyes. Slowly Bella moved north from Edward’s cold torso, and the next thing Edward knew, was the sensation of human teeth sunken into the side of his icy-white neck. Seconds later, Bella found Edward collapsing to the ground. Bella was just being playful, but anyway her cause for worry was soon gone, as Edward lay on the floor like a migrated squirrel, not fainted, not unconscious; but as if he were enjoying peaceful sleep. Now, we all know that vampires don’t sleep. Soon, realisation struck Bella. She now had a completely human better half, after all.
The 11 am sun did nothing to Edward’s new found human self as he stood crestfallen yet, with Papa John’s Whole Wheat in one hand and milk in the other and meekly said, “I guess you’ll just have to wait a while longer for your breakfast from now on, love”.