Wednesday, November 18, 2009
C.H.O.I.C.E. and What It Meant To Me.
I probably should be saying/writing this as my Third Year Farewell speech, at Rama Watumull Auditorium, but I don’t think I’m getting there and I feel this may be the last time I ever think about this with my over-dramatic emotions, which as of this moment, while I write cannot be suppressed.
It may just have been two years since I’m a part of Choice, but it feels like the person that Choice has made me is always who I was.
The time I left Shazaad Bhiwanidwala’s car on the last day of Mood Indigo 2008, a certain part of me, felt like I’m never going to see the people inside again. Even though we’re not the best of friends, or underwear buddies, but all of us have an indefinable bond, that I realized only when I leave cars or exit security gates at a festival. As this year marks the end of a number of significant people from choice, this note is for me to relive those memories with those special people because of whom I’m “someone” today. Trusting me when I was (and am) a skinny, short kid, walking into terrace classroom 1 in shorts and a blank look on my face, who still hadn’t hit puberty, with no experience or talent, 5 days before HR Fest 2007. I may not have been confident, or known to the person appraising me, but still, with conviction or maybe just a trial, accepted my application. That person in a hundred years would have never thought that jus by doing that he would change a boy’s personality forever.
I had two primary reasons for joining choice. A short but impactful skit done by two very talented people at our orientation, and second, a not-so-docile girl shouting “CHOICE, CHOICE”, standing on top of my canteen table, whilst I ate Chinese. Makes no sense, but I was drawn to that application. Maybe someone up there wanted me to greet my friends with more than just a simple hug when I enter HR College.
As the year went on, I was just doing Malhar because someone who I was fond of, asked me to. Thank you, Veda. At Kaleidoscope and Kiran, I actually got to know everyone, and saw how work really got done. Kiran was a memorable experience, as not only did I see how difficult people of the same species as you can be, and I made of one my best friends there; Pinky.. I still remember Neville saying that even if you don’t win, or don’t place, what you gain from things like these are best friends. Along the route further, there were a few disappointments, but by then I was too much into how much people trust me with even the smallest of things, that I never thought of doing anything otherwise. The feeling one gets when a person you admire, respect, has faith in you and trusts you, and for the next few significant moments, all you think is how can you keep up to that. The feeling of someone you respect trusting you is overwhelming, but the fear of not completing the given task and disappointing that person makes you feel like a true dick.
Working with people with whom one constantly argues and fights, Khopkar, Sumit, but at the end of everything, all I could think about is when do I get to meet all these people again, and since a while now, all I can think of is what if I never get to see them again, and if we lose contact. Quoting Anushka, Being disorganized is a part of choice’s charm. Running at the last minute to buy an extension chord when Raju sir is screaming his lungs out and when kirit sir hurls abuses in hindi, calling you the “chhota, patla chutiya” maybe next year, I’ll miss being the “chhota, patla chutiya”. According to me, I spent a lot of my time with people apart from work. The closeness must have just come about in the past few months, but the thought of it all not going to be there soon is haunting.
The reality of my first favourite choice member, with whom I loved working and respected so much, not being there in my second year, was a disappointment. I miss you a lot Veda. I need you at times when I need my self-esteem back where it belongs.
Never having to argue and call Khopkar a cock juggling thunder cunt, really symbolizes, not communicating at that level with them before.
Not being able to get a ride home in an orange 1900’s model Maruti 800 saddens me. Viraat. Gonna miss you man.
The thought of not ever shouting at Sumit for no apparent reason, will make me forget what a really good work companion he makes. Kiran, 2008.
Never talking utter bullshit with Anushka about all the possible shit, whether masculine or feminine makes me realize how serious and boring life really is.
Not getting re-imbursed for Raju sir’s food from Darayus, made me realize the value of limited money. Ha Ha, and stingy-ness.
Not debating with Ali on the pettiest of things shows me how pointless life is without conversation, baseless or meaningful. And that I should dress only in good brands. :P
My favourite Choice moments; Malhar- Street Dance 2008. Picking up Sonali (wearing creased clothes) in pouring rain; Raju Sir’s food. Abusing Jai Hind. Hand stands, Nikes. I wish our entire P.A. Department good luck for this year.
Understanding the magnitude of Datta & Hunaid’s achievement, once I saw Kirit and Raju.
Never again will 9 people fit in an Indica, with Meheryar Tata in the driver’s seat. Never.
Being blessed to watch India’s top 50 street dancers, in my first year.
Right datta. ?
The unexplainable emotion of not wanting to leave this group of people from an authentic dinner, while a good friend waits at his party for me.
The look on Sonali’s face with the Malhar 2008, F.A. Trophy. The look on Datta’s face with the Overall Malhar 2008, trophy.
The night we didn’t place in street dance at Malhar 08, I went back to our terrace dejected. For the first time I had a conversation with Neville, which did not have sexual innuendos or involved insulting me. He said that the final result doesn’t matter, but you judge your performance with the amount of hard work put in. There will be many more years for you to come, and you will realize the importance and timing of winning. I am happier to win Malhar with Danesh by my side, in my last year than before. This is what Neville told me. Later that year, I could understand what Neville must be going through as we lost K’do. It was his last year and first ACL ship.
Year before last, a topic was being discussed, & said something, & then to that I said, “Was I not supposed to know that?” Tushna replied, “If YOU know that Shiv, then its okay for everybody else to know it”. Made me realize that I have a long way to go.
Sabotaging parties and heading at Ayubs or Bade Miyan’s with Datta and Hunaid.
Taking Crawford market directions from Hunaid
Being bellowed at by Sonali in the choice office, for a reason known to her, in a way not even my mother has shrieked.
Britannia. Leopold’s. Lonavla. Sundance.
Doing L.A. events with Haabil, for the heck of it.
Walking through security gates, tricking people, in a manner and confidence instilled by CHOICE.
Never getting a thong cake for Sonali, ever again.
No way in heaven can I describe in words, my memories and instances with Datta and Sonali. Apart from Choice work, in three words if I have to define the terms trust, friendship, mentor, guide, bitches, agony aunt and uncle, all I would say is “Datta and Sonali”. However sucking up this may sound, it’s really not that at all. I truly love and respect these two people in the most important years of my life. Always being there, would be an understatement for them. As I said before, not in a hundred years, would they have thought that they would change a boy’s personality forever. Disappointing any of them, at any point of time, would make me feel like shit. I would do anything if they asked me too, even if at 4am. (I’m sorry for the melodrama, but this is how much yau’ll mean to me). I can’t imagine Choice without yau’ll.
I thank all the choice members for being an integral part of my last two years. These moments with yau’ll are unforgettable. I’m gonna miss each and every one of you, and I hate not being there this year, but I’m coming to cheer for sure. I can write on and on, but I need to go wipe my face now.